Why are you yelling at me?

We yell.  All of us.  Not because we're mad or upset.  Its because the loudest one wins.  Nybody who is knew that meets the family pretty much wonders why we are all mad at each other.  Especially if there is more than 3 in the room.  My grandfather is as deaf as a post.  He tries to lip read but doesn't do a good job of it.  He just gets mad and starts scowling.  I guess when your 96 years old you can grump and bitch at whatever you want. So we sit around the kitchen table, which is usually the hub of all conversations.  It's usually big mouth phooey, Mavs, granny, the hermitess and me.  Actually the hermitess, usually leaves as soon as we all gather.  She has a problem with people.  At first I just thought she was anti social but I really don't think that she likes anybody, even her daughter.  She hates caffeine but loves her alcohol. It's never too early for a beer.  My granny gets on her back at every given situation and then the bickering begins. We talk about everything. From the amount of shovels that my grandpa has collected to how long is too old to keep something past the expiration date.  One time I had a craving for celery and cheese whiz, slathered it on thick, took a bite and felt like somebody shit in my mouth.  Foul, nasty, stank, burning.  Seems 2 years is not long enough to throw out.  I threw it out.  I'm pretty sure grampa dug it out and put it back in the fridge.  I haven't had cheese whiz since.  And I'm pretty sure I let everyone know about it around the table.  I'm pretty sure they heard me down the block too.